Sweet Victory!!

Finally!!

After 29 months... 

This smile is worth it!!

No more braces... and no more arguing about rubber bands!!  

My sentiments, exactly!!  

Endearing...

We sent this pic to let big brother know he's missed tonight.

Makes you want to jump on a plane, right?!

Forward

It's done... we're back, settling in to life as we know it... without #5.

Zach is far away, working as an intern, preparing for his first fall semester as a full time student.

It's very strange... I find myself strong and sound at moments, confident and excited for our oldest boy, yet in the blink of an eye I might desolve to tears with unexpected emotion.

Happily, it's all good, and these changes, challenging as they are (who could know 18 years ago would come and go SO fast?) are producing a fortitude and perseverance in each of us.  Such is life.

I sent a text to Ethan the other day (as we sat across from one another at the airport) asking if he was sad to leave.  "Yep" was the younger brother's response. Confirming my thoughts, I quickly quoted the familiar adage:  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", to which he replied, "Yep".

And so, my new personal mantra will predominantly charge my course in the weeks and months ahead :o>

(Sigh)... Onward!

tick... tick... tick...

Time...

Do you need more of it?  Does is seem there's never enough of it?  Do you wish for better use of it, or to secure a better grasp of it?

No matter how I think of it, time does not slow down, and certainly does not stop, stand still or wait.  The older one gets, the faster it seems to dissipate. Where does it go so fast?

Finding the balance in life is tricky, wouldn't you agree?  I'm wanting to use my time well, and yet I struggle to allow myself the freedom to not be such a keeper of it in order to embrace the simplicity and fun that often a momentary absence of schedule might afford.

I believe the wrestle has to do with contentment... knowing that there is no slowing it down, and therefore making the most of time in the busy and the mundane and the occasional down time.  Accepting what is, being grateful for what is, and rolling with it (or, if you prefer, being rolled by it).

Becoming Acquainted

Bill and I have just returned from a full day of college orientation with Zach, whom we left for a mandatory overnight mixer.   I'm full of reflection, and in greater part peace, after much of my curiosity was indulged today.  It was so good to roam the campus once again, this time with Zach as a resident student, a much more permanent departure from the spring and summer trips we took last year, as we toured the various campuses Zach was considering.  Bill pointed out that the lines for orientation registration were titled Men and Women, which, I admit, brought a momentary tear to my eye.  I took a quick surveillance of the young adults who are no longer considered children, and marveled as I watched our son navigate his own steps.

I so appreciated the presentation today, the warm welcome of the students and their families, the integrity with which the University prides itself, the answered questions from students and parents alike.  As we separated at different points in the day for various breakout sessions, I could see students all about the campus ready to step into adulthood and embrace the excitement of the learning, relationships, growth and adventures before them.  What a great time in a young person's life.

With all that is in front of our son, it's a joy to watch him embrace the path to adulthood.

Thankful

We reconvened as a family again yesterday, as Ethan and Halle and I joined Bill and Zach back at home plate, here in the Midwest.  They left us last week for a road trip, moving Zach and all that belongs to him to familiar territory.

I'm thankful to be here, to settle in to a lazy summer visiting family and friends, helping Zach transition into what will become life for him again. I'm thankful as I reflect on how carefree it is to ease back into life in the Midwest... thankful to embrace these big changes in a comforting place. And, I'm so thankful for the frame of mind I find myself in.

Four of us will be headed back at the end of the month - not five.  I'm sure there will be many opportunities to be thankful for what will transpire in the coming weeks.  That will be my focus as we leave our oldest here, so many miles away... grateful for the experiences of our lives.

I am sure that the miles that separate will continue to create growth and deep appreciation.

Empty Space

Life is one big mental shift... the change that it's full of forces the mind to face the choice of adaptation.

I have found that while transition is a process, fighting it will surely make one miserable.

So, I'm allowing myself time in transition as I choose to believe that the newly vacant bedroom (Zach's) in our home will one day not seem so... empty.

Hopeful for the end of this modification :)

Title Reiterated

It's almost time...

The boxes are out, the walls are bare, the packing is nearly finished.  Zach is headed back East and will not be returning with us after our summer visit to the Midwest.  I've begun to imagine what that will be like?  Funny, I've been dealing so well with all of it... could it be because it's been in the plan for so long that I've had plenty of time to accept it?  Is it easier to accept and adjust to change... have I matured?  Could it just be ignorance?  One thing is for sure, I am praying that the Lord prepares my heart for what I have yet to experience as our oldest son leaves the nest... for the changes that we will all experience and are now talking about as we wonder.  It's good, and it's strange.  And it's hopeful that God is my source of peace!

Excited for Zach and curious about what the future holds.  And, quite honestly, a tiny bit nervous :)

More change to filter through, to accept and adapt to, to grow through... He's still not finished with me!

Children

What if...

Babies never grew up?

Days would consist of endless coos, raspberries and doodles, 

chubby little toes, and tiny hands, funky hair, a petite little face.  

These would be ours for the joy of all time.  

Yet, if time stood still, so much would be missed...

the joy of witnessing the development of her amazing 

personality, the passion she possesses, the zest 

she brings to living, the love she has for Jesus, 

the tears, the hugs, the singing, the laughter.  

If if were possible, would I give up the future in exchange for the ever present?

With the passing of years, I hold gratefully, yet loosely to what is, 

fully embrazing the memories as well as the time we have now.

These are ours for the joy of all time.

Graduate!

The little boy....

I once ran the knees out of my jeans playing with...

has crossed the finish line!  

  

Ode to the Vertically Challenged

Nesting.

Dare I say, it plagues every woman?

Without a psychology degree, I'd be putting myself out there.

Still...

Most women I know are crazed by the need to make order of something with some regularity; for the sake of political politeness, may I suggest, perhaps monthly?

And this shall prove my point: My daughter came to me after several hours of what I'm sure (based on personal experience) led to multiple rabbit trails, with a gift. It seems, in addition to the organization that took place in her room, she thought her mother might benefit from her hand-me-downs.

Wow.

Surreal.

Here's why: Said daughter is taller (be it an inch or two... okay maybe three or more) than her mother (she's twelve!). Can you tell this is slightly disturbing for one said mother? In Short (no pun intended), her pants were Too Short, so she graciously offered to pass them on to her Short mama.

I don't like it.

This episode, be it ever so trivial, is not on my list of favorite enriching experiences in parenting. And yet, if this is the least of the discomfort this leg of the journey, I think I can be okay with that.

Be warned... while nesting is/can be a significant sign of the plague that's to come, and while much comfort comes in the manipulation and control of one's personal space, after today, I'm quite certain being the benefactor of another's purging has it's pluses and minuses.

And ladies, bad things can happen on the rabbit trail :]

Listen

This song helped me stay the course today...

The idea that anything I take to Him

sounds like music to His ears brings

a comfort beyond description.

Take the Leap

Too long.

Been thinking about the need to write.

Will I have much to say?

I'm ready to believe it will come...

Inspire me, Lord.