Forward

It's done... we're back, settling in to life as we know it... without #5.

Zach is far away, working as an intern, preparing for his first fall semester as a full time student.

It's very strange... I find myself strong and sound at moments, confident and excited for our oldest boy, yet in the blink of an eye I might desolve to tears with unexpected emotion.

Happily, it's all good, and these changes, challenging as they are (who could know 18 years ago would come and go SO fast?) are producing a fortitude and perseverance in each of us.  Such is life.

I sent a text to Ethan the other day (as we sat across from one another at the airport) asking if he was sad to leave.  "Yep" was the younger brother's response. Confirming my thoughts, I quickly quoted the familiar adage:  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", to which he replied, "Yep".

And so, my new personal mantra will predominantly charge my course in the weeks and months ahead :o>

(Sigh)... Onward!

Empty Space

Life is one big mental shift... the change that it's full of forces the mind to face the choice of adaptation.

I have found that while transition is a process, fighting it will surely make one miserable.

So, I'm allowing myself time in transition as I choose to believe that the newly vacant bedroom (Zach's) in our home will one day not seem so... empty.

Hopeful for the end of this modification :)

Title Reiterated

It's almost time...

The boxes are out, the walls are bare, the packing is nearly finished.  Zach is headed back East and will not be returning with us after our summer visit to the Midwest.  I've begun to imagine what that will be like?  Funny, I've been dealing so well with all of it... could it be because it's been in the plan for so long that I've had plenty of time to accept it?  Is it easier to accept and adjust to change... have I matured?  Could it just be ignorance?  One thing is for sure, I am praying that the Lord prepares my heart for what I have yet to experience as our oldest son leaves the nest... for the changes that we will all experience and are now talking about as we wonder.  It's good, and it's strange.  And it's hopeful that God is my source of peace!

Excited for Zach and curious about what the future holds.  And, quite honestly, a tiny bit nervous :)

More change to filter through, to accept and adapt to, to grow through... He's still not finished with me!

Children

What if...

Babies never grew up?

Days would consist of endless coos, raspberries and doodles, 

chubby little toes, and tiny hands, funky hair, a petite little face.  

These would be ours for the joy of all time.  

Yet, if time stood still, so much would be missed...

the joy of witnessing the development of her amazing 

personality, the passion she possesses, the zest 

she brings to living, the love she has for Jesus, 

the tears, the hugs, the singing, the laughter.  

If if were possible, would I give up the future in exchange for the ever present?

With the passing of years, I hold gratefully, yet loosely to what is, 

fully embrazing the memories as well as the time we have now.

These are ours for the joy of all time.

Day 1 (of the Last Year)

Back at it... one last time.

Our senior graciously posed for the camera once again, just one last time, for what has been our tradition for the last thirteen years. The first day of school. How can it be that the little blue eyed boy of barely five is now nearly headed out the door on his own journey; so ready then to join the ranks and dig deep into learning, and so ready now to become the man God designed him to be?

WHERE did it go? It's true what every parent has uttered before me... the time, it flies.

Fully embracing this last year of all my kiddos together, and praying for the grace to face next years photo with the joy and enthusiasm our blue eyed young man will be expecting from his parents.

Girl Weekend

I had the privilege of running away with my

not-so-little girl last month.

We enjoyed yummy food, shopping,

some pampering, and best of all,

amazing conversation, and incredible teaching

about what it means to make good choices.

I love this little lady!

Fixated

Walking into the library this afternoon I overheard another mom talking to her child;  her son, in particular.  There was something about this discourse I found familiar.  This is what she said:

"It's library time, and no, you may not use the computer, not at home any more today, and not here at the library.  Computer time is over and now it's time for books."  

Hmmm.   I chuckled to myself as her words resonated, for in them every mother came to life.  No need to even turn around for a look.  I get it :)  

Boys!!!!!